My Cameron Solo Trip

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم

Assalamualaikum w.b.t

Welcome back to my blog!!! Sorry sebab dah lama sangat tak menulis. Has been busy with study and personal issues. Tak sempat nak buka blog and write macam selalu. Kadang-kadang tu terlupa that I own this blog. Kesian you. Huhu

So, the title itself tells everything that I wanna share in this entry. Kegilaan telah melanda jiwa seorang manusia bernama Fikriyah, when she decided abruptly on a single night, to for a short vacation to Cameron Highland ALONE! Aku personally tak tahu apa yang trigger keberanian aku untuk buat semua tu, but one thing for sure is, AKU KECEWA!

Kecewa for/of what? Let me tell a bit ya of the story...

Aku memang dah lama sangat nak pergi holiday to Cameron Highland. It has been my favourite place to go for a holiday, sebab masa kecil selalu pergi CH. I have been dreaming untuk pergi road trip or whatever trip they called, with my friends, since first year lagi. But, unfortunately, everytime plan, nobody was bersungguh-sungguh to go and the plan has never succeeded. So, aku always rasa kecewa, bila sampai hujung semester, sbb janjinya, hujung sem, kita pergi holiday and the destination is CH. That's the first trigger.

Later, my friends, the same friends, was on trip to Kelantan with other friends of hers, I called. Even though we are all in the same class, but they suddenly became close and form this 'Lima Lipa'  which makes me feel that they were all on different level of friendship. Yes, I admit that I am not a good friend. I can't offer much due to my lacking of empathy, I can't do well in term of understanding peoples' feelings. Yes, I noticed that and I acknowledge that. Cuma, kurangnya aku tak mampu, for now, to ubah all those thing to become better. I am trying, but haven't succeed. Okay, back to the story, before she goes to Kelantan, I did ask her, if she wanted to go to CH during the sem break, but she said her mother would not allow her to go there. Well then, its fine for me coz it's a concrete reason, isn't it? But later, nearly the end of sem, dgrlah cerita that this Lima Lipa is planning for a trip to Kelantan together.. I was so heart broken. Plus, she didn't inform me earlier about the trip. Dapat tahu pun 2-3 days before they were going there and from a third party. Aku rasa macam, Ok FINE! You do this to me! That's FINE! Aku boleh pergi sendiri! No matter what, aku tetap akan pergi CH, sorang pun sorang lah! Well, that's the second big trigger that pushes me to book the bus ticket and hotel to CH within a night!

The last trigger, which was happening on the same night I booked everything was, I saw my schoolmate, a girl, she went for a solo trip to KL. Then I asked her the tips about going for a solo trip. After dapat all her tips and encouragement, I was so enthusiastic to have my own SOLO TRIP to CAMERON HIGHLAND. Why CH? As I mentioned earlier, it is one of my favourite place and it reminisce me of the time when I was a kid, problem-free spirit and happy moments.

Well, semua orang mention that when you did something crazy like this, mesti ada something happen kan? Mostly mention sebab putus cinta. Well actually it is not. Aku naik gunung tu sebab aku nak cari ketenangan. Aku nak cari masa aku dengan alam, dengan Tuhan. Aku nak masa aku berdua dengan Allah, for me to think of everything that I did in the past, to think of what should I do now and what am I going to face or achieve in the future. Aku mencari purpose aku hidup. Aku menghitung berapa banyak salah aku dan aku fikir silap mana yang perlu aku hentikan dan betulkan. Aku naik gunung tu untuk aku berfikir, betapa besarnya rahmat dan kasih sayang Allah pada aku, dengan nikmat dan peluang yang diberi selama ini dan betapa sombongnya aku sebagai hamba yang sentiasa melakukan dosa dan kemaksiatan pada Dia. Dan aku malu dengan perbuatan aku itu. Dan bila aku naik gunung tu, aku nampak betapa agungnya ciptaan Dia, betapa indahnya dunia ni jika aku manfaatkan dengan kebaikan dan mencari kebahagiaan. DAN! Aku belajar, setinggi mana pun gunung yang aku naik, sedalam mana jua lautan yang aku selam, ketenangan dan bahagia itu takkan datang kalau aku tidak mengingat Allah dalam hati aku. THAT IS THE BIGGEST LESSON aku belajar from the trip.

All other minor lessons macam jaga keselamatan, pengurusan perbelanjaan, etc, itu boleh dapat dekat tempat lain. But that lesson is the most precious LESSON in my life. 

Biarpun apa yang aku buat tu gila, bahaya dan tak sayang nyawa serta mengundang murka orang tua, but aku bersyukur I did it. Aku jumpa jawapan aku dan aku belajar dari kesilapan itu. Itulah permata berharga yang aku simpan dalam diri. Bukti itulah yang jadi bekal untuk aku ingatkan diri, bila-bila hati ini kosong dan inginkan ketenangan, ingatlah ALLAH ADA dan dengan MENGINGATI DIA hati ini akan tenang. Untuk mengingati Allah ada macam2 cara, solat, zikir, baca Al-Quran, tengok and appreciate ciptaan Allah. Semua tu belajarlah dari ustaz/ustazah yang lebih arif. Aku belajar teori dari mereka dan aku cipta pengalaman untuk aku belajar menghargai ilmu yang aku pelajari. Cara aku mungkin not applicable for all, but it's worth it!

So, begitulah cerita di sebalik MY CAMERON SOLO TRIP. It is BAHAYA especially untuk perempuan. SO JANGAN BUAT! Lagi2 kalau tak dapat restu mak ayah! TOLONG JANGAN BUAT! Semoga Allah ampunkan dosa-dosa aku dan kita semua atas kesilapan lalu yang pernah dilakukan dan semoga Dia redhai keputusan-keputusan yang kita lakukan dengan niat untuk mencari redha Dia. Aamiinnn.... Sekian, byeeeee... 

Lots of LOVE,

Anis Fikriyah 'Ain