Always A Traveller

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Assalamualaikum wbt. Heyyy! The story continues. Aku tak pernah sangka yang cerita 15 precious weeks ni akan berterusan sampai harini. Well, to me, initially aku terfikir how can I continue cerita ni sedangkan aku tak tahu apa yang akan terjadi dalam hidup aku on the next days. And today, I am mesmerized by the surprises that God has planned on me. Indeed, 15 precious week punya journey ni akan berterusan sampai akhir hayat aku. Macam yang pernah aku cakap dengan Dr on my last therapy session, I will not give up and I will continue to live my life the best I can.  Sungguh, mengalah dan berputus asa pernah jadi zikir dalam kamus hidup aku. Susah sikit, aku mengalah. Salah sikit aku berhenti. Aku tak pernah berjuang untuk buat yang terbaik dengan setiap peluang yang aku pernah dapat. Rugi sangat! Aku lebih memilih untuk salahkan keadaan dan orang sekeliling dengan apa yang pernah aku dapat ataupun apa-apa yang terjadi dalam hidup aku. Tapi sekarang, aku pilih u...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Hai! Assalamualaikum wbt. I'm back! Alhamdulillah exam End of Posting for Introduction to Surgery dah selesai dengan lancar yesterday. I'm so grateful that aku exam sama-sama dengan team A3 from medical posting, except for D. (yet he still came to the hospital on the day of examination to support us and others) For this entry, aku nak share pengalaman aku menghadapi exam kali ni. It's quite different and challenging. Well, actually aku susah nak start share pasal ni sebab my mind is not focusing on this matter at the moment. Cause now, I am worried about my presentation during short case examination and I am more terrified with the possibilities of me to redo the exam. Okay, let's forget about it! Jom start the story. Journey untuk exam kali ni quite long as compared to EOP medical. In surgical, previously akan dapat 1 week untuk study week before a centralized exam. Unlike this time around, exam was conducted in decentralized system as per requir...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحي Being skeptical is easy. You just have to create an ideal vision of something or someone, and you can start to compare and judge their reality through your idealistic lens. Without a single effort of trying to know them and get into their world, to understand and to communicate using the language they converse in.  That's how I've been viewing this life all years long. I have been keeping myself into an ideal world where I thought, everything should revolves around me, my wishes must all come true, people should put undeniable attention on me and loves me unconditionally through out my life. My visual of life is a constant fairy tale, where happily ever after is mainly the theme.  Hence, when real life isn't equal to fairy tales, it rages out the green monster I once mentioned before. I was so frustrated with life, I can't accept anything less than I expected, I deny undesirable things happen to me, I super-frustrated with people who did not fulfil...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Alhamdulillah. Allah is the Greatest.  This is the journey of the most precious 15 weeks of my life. It begins on 17th April 2020 and finally ends on 29th July 2020. The days I faced my psychodynamic psychotherapy sessions with Dr Hazleeana who I doubted in before the therapy session begins.  I begin with wrong self-diagnosed diagnosis during the first session of the therapy. At the back of my head during that time was I am having Borderline Personality Disorder which I think causes me to have fluctuation in emotion, inability to cope with stresses and difficulties in life. I think I have that! Rupa-rupanya.... it is something else. .... During the first two sessions it was all about knowing myself. Looking back into my behaviours and the reasons behind in clearly views me of who I am. Lepas tu, I was taught to digest everything that I did and find the causes to my reaction. From there, I learned that I have hiding a lot of ...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Assalamualaikum wbt. Haiii!!! Dah lama I plan to write something here start dari awal PKP haritu, tapi asyik tertangguh and selalu terlupa. So here, today, I hope to get the whole writing done by tonight and may it be beneficial to anybody who will be reading it later. Huhu.. Aamiin. 18th March 2020 , it marks the day in history of Malaysia when our beloved newly assigned Prime Minister, Tan Sri Muhyiddin Yassin, announced the implementation on Movement Control Order (MCO) or Perintah Kawalan Pergerakan (PKP) in order to curb the spread of Covid-19. It was a shocked to everyone and has caused panic among the citizen, where everybody started to stock up household necessities unnecessarily and people were travelling hometown from all over Malaysia to stay with families during this hard times. Since then, everyday me and my family, we will wait for the cases updates from the Hero of our nation, DG Dr Nor Hisham Abdullah.  lahhh... penat lah cakap o...

بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم Assalamualaikum w.b.t. Haiiiiii!!! It's me again! Happy New Year to all celebrating. Rasanya macam okay lagi nak wish sebab baru 4th Jan 2020. Yassss! Macam tak percayakan kita dah masuk 2020. Personally, I feel 2020 has something different and interesting to offer. So, aku berazam untuk grab the oppurtunity of becoming a better version of me beginning from this year and on. Hopefully, In shaa allah.. Aamiiin. Cuma this new year begin with a glance of gloominess in my life, sebab I start to eradicate my close friends from the previous years. ERADICATE! Wow!! Macam infectious sangat kan kawan2 you tu?! Hahaha.. Tak baik tau cakap macam tu. Well, they did nothing. It is actually me, my mind that chose this way to perceive on what has happen. I chose to take it negatively, that's why aku rasa they has done big mistakes on me. I know, it is unfair for them, but it is just too hurt for me to actually stay in the friendship any longer.  Aku me...